Tuesday, May 21, 2013
On Making Friends
When Shay and I started dating, we had our tight-knit group of friends --we were all out of college and enjoying life in Austin's downtown scene on the weekends. We had mostly single friends, and we just started dating, so we were on the departure from the downtown inebriated scene and enjoying our time together with more sobering experiences like shopping at IKEA, working out, enjoying long walks at the park with Hubert, and the occasional fine dining experience free of binge drinking. You know. "Healthy" things.
An opportunity for us to move to Pittsburgh came up and we were confident we could start a life in a new city and meet friends who were exactly like us. In the same life state. You know... serious relationship, without kids, with dog, enjoy trying new restaurants, strong interest in exercise and fitness, male enjoys watching sports and playing basketball, female enjoys spoiling her dog and shopping unnecessarily. It was going to be easy.
We were wrong.
So, we got married, and focused on building our careers. We don't share many hobbies together aside from liking food/drink and fitness, so we started to run out of things to do on the weekends together. So we started to spend our weekends doing our own things. While Shay played basketball for a few hours, I would shop. But shopping alone isn't fun, so I used our weekends to work (because that is my hobby, after all). I worked and worked and worked. Until I got tired of working (see previous post).
We considered possible solutions to change our routine. Should we get another dog? Should we make a baby? Should we buy a fixer-upper house? Should I hire a friend? I mean employee? (These were all MY possible solutions to change our routine, but you know how you start saying "we" for everything when you get married? Yeah. That.)
No, on all fronts. For various reasons; mostly time/energy-commitment reasons. Though, I'm still begging Shay for a second dog. He said, "You can get a second dog, but you won't have a first husband". That is tabled for the time being.
Then, the heavens opened up and a couple came into our life who are pretty much our replica. A married couple, without kids, with dog, enjoy trying new restaurants, strong interest in exercise and fitness, male enjoys watching sports and playing basketball, female enjoys spoiling her dog and shopping unnecessarily.
Actually, they have two dogs (which gives me a little more leverage when I bring up the topic of a second dog to Shay later).
I initially thought that all I needed in life was my family and a dog. Then amended it to "my family, a dog, and a husband".
I have found that life is much more wonderful when you have some friends to share it with, too. :)
p.s. an article about why it's hard to meet friends as an adult.